SMILE! You're on candid camera!!!

So i feel like this deployment has been some kind of elaborate joke on the wives. Like the guys all got together and said "screw this lets go on vacation!" and any minute now Scott is going to walk through the door and say "GOT CH'YA!!!" Or some kind of cruel and unusual punishment for something i'm not aware i have done wrong. The feeling of "is my husband real or did i just imagine him" is more than mutual through my group of gals and it seems to get worse as days pass. For my personal time line things truly seem to be never ending. As soon as he gets home its just another count down until he leaves again, then after that who knows right now. There is always fear in the unknown but when you kinda know and what you see isn't too thrilling kinda puts a damper on what you wanted... if that makes any sense. However a few thing i can be certain of, I have an AMAZING husband who i love very much (even though he is playing this mean joke on me) I have 2 beautiful, healthy and perfect (in my eyes) children, and i have support from my family and friends. I really cant complain but i like to anyway... so husband if you are reading this you better get your butt home asap if this is a joke because i'm not laughing.

He better be glad he is cute...

So it's 4:45 am and my lovely child has been up since 2:30 am wanting to laugh and smile and play. What the H kid?? If he wasn't so darn cute we might have a problem. Oh well, have to get up early anyway for work... *sigh* i wish i was a SAHM (that's a Stay At Home Mom... i had to google that the first time i saw it) but then i think that those mom's have it even harder... there is no escape!! I have my work life and my home life. I'm very torn as to what i would do if i did stay home. In my current situation (baby no sleepy) it would be nice just to go back to sleep instead of getting out of bed and making my self look presentable (death warmed up) and driving across town to a job that i don't really hate but don't enjoy. Other days going to work is a nice break from being "mommy" i get to be called by my first name and no one touches me for a full 8 hours. Either scenario i still feel like i'm missing out. Missing out on the special moments with my babies, or missing out on being more than just mom. I guess it all boils down to balance, and maybe i shouldn't be so upset about my little sweet baby boy wanting to spend time with his mommy...

Well here we go...

Well... hi! I have written and started over my first post like 5 times... each time what i have written goes horribly wrong and to very crazy cracked offensive places so we won't post things like that later :) So let's start out on a positive foot, i'll get you roped in before i go crazy on ya.